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Up until this, I thought things were okay in our marriage, though of course we haven’t had much couple time with the demands of four children but this discovery has come as a bolt out of the blue.

It wouldn’t have been as bad if he was just accessing porn, as I know men do this, but the fact that he was talking to other people has really disgusted me.

Improving the marriage The discovery of your husband’s online world is a crisis in your marriage but it can also represent an opportunity.

You could see this as a “wake-up call in your marriage to examine problems in the communication between the two of you and to address this.

A second issue for a marriage is that one partner turns to the internet for flirting and sexual excitement rather than to their partner.

When this happens frequently, it can lead to a reduction in their sex-life together, a growing sense of disconnection and an erosion of the marital bond.

Take some time out together You can also take action at home to improve your marriage on a daily basis.

For example you can prioritise a daily talking time with your husband when you share how each of you are doing.

Like many problems, it can start innocently at first, with a person visiting sexually titillating sites perhaps out of boredom or a seeking escapism but then it can escalate to other behaviours, such as directly communicating with other people online and over time can become addictive and harmful.

Moving forward In the aftermath of discovering your husband’s online world, it is perfectly understandable that you might feel disgusted and betrayed and to worry as to how much you can trust your husband.

You might benefit from going to counselling especially if you feel traumatised and need to the help of an impartial listener to process some of the feelings.

, we have been together 12 yrs but when we first gt together he did sleep wi my best friend and I forgave him,it is obvious he looks at porn as he gets lots of sex texts and emails.

Although I always have a answer to any question, I must state that I am not always right and therefore can not be held responsible for any actions/outcome from someone following my advice or using my information!

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