Online dating bliss
Then one day I had my wisdom teeth pulled and my cheeks became grapefruits.
Figuring this was not a great first-date look, I made no weekend plans.
Here I learn there’s a word for digital couples who’ve never met in person: They’re called “nevermets.” “Three years in and we’ve finally closed the distance!! “[f/22][m/28],” she clarified, meaning she was a 22-year-old female and her partner a 28-year-old male.
“Meeting him for the first time tomorrow.” A recent survey of the group found most members are young, between 18 and 23.
Scruff’s founder, Eric Silverberg, told me the company added the feature when they noticed lots of users were already posting travel itineraries in their profiles; now one in four members posts a new trip every year.
But travel flings aside, I suspect most people don’t join dating apps intending to fall in love across continents, especially since it’s so easy to filter matches by distance.
A year and a half ago, I was 23, single, and working as an engineer at the online-dating site Ok Cupid.
The site held a similar philosophy when it came to distance, and we employees would sometimes joke we needed to add a special filter for New Yorkers that let them specify,.
At the time, I loved the concept of online dating and went out with other Manhattanites almost every weekend. I found myself always distracted, thinking more to myself about how to make a graceful exit than about whatever my date was saying.
That weekend I talked to a neuropsychologist from Milwaukee; a software developer from Austin, Texas; an improv instructor from Seattle; and an economics masters student from London.
At first, these calls were a little awkward—what were you supposed to say to a complete stranger you’d probably never meet?