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This is about the unsolicited attention I receive on the other side of the world, the unsolicited attention that allegedly makes black men the luckiest gays.

If I were living in cities with a large pool of black men to date and vowed not to dip outside of that pool, my experiences with white gay men wouldn’t change.

When I was living, working, and going out in New York City, I was basically invisible.

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Marcelo is surprised by my harsh revelations, but I can tell he still thinks I should consider myself lucky. Most white men are able to go through life not having to worry about being loved or loathed because of their skin color, so some of them just can’t see how lust can be a double-edged sword. “But I’m lucky to be me.”He was so blinded by my black, though, that he couldn’t see the light.

And the obsession with sex in the Grindr age seems to make so many of us oblivious to everything that doesn’t involve sex.“You’re so lucky to be black,” an Israeli guy in Jordan told me four years ago, Like so many before and after him, he considered me blessed, assuming that my skin color makes getting laid a breeze. Nearly a half decade of debating and blacksplaining later, I have.

And I’ve finally figured out that light doesn’t have to be mine to shine.

When I started travelling to Europe, things started changing.

For the first time in my life, I received attention from an assortment of men of various colors and age groups.

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