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I really needed his presence, and he totally came and met me.”Put a ring on it, right?
Actually, what this woman described is a pretty common occurrence in evangelical circles like the one I grew up in — circles where dating is rare and sexual purity is paramount.
In other words, to see ourselves as Jesus saw us: in Christian-ese, as “Daughters of the King.”But there’s a tiny hang-up in this idealized world of swashbuckling romantic ideals: Mr. After all, as our relationships with Jesus got deeper and deeper, our standards for future IRL relationships were getting more and more out of touch with reality.
With each Bible study evening, our hopes and expectations were drummed up to new and feverish heights.
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He was also frustrating, though; he made a habit of misreading my thoughts, and was notably short on patience.
After all, God doesn’t ignore you when the NBA is on.
For me, having an actual boyfriend has meant dismantling many of the constructs I lived with for years.
At 22, I could be found standing in a softly lit room full of other angsty Evangelicals, swaying, kneeling, perhaps crying lightly, and all singing, “Jesus, Love of my soul, Jesus, I will never let you go…
I love you, I need you, though my world may fall, I’ll never let you go.”Both men and women were encouraged to explore those feelings — to ask Jesus to show us His love, and to respond with words, tears, or perhaps even a dance. For us ladies, there was an added component; we were encouraged to turn away from the lurid and degrading portrayals so common in the dominant, MTV-inspired culture, and to find self-worth in the church’s paradigm of womanhood.