Dating paying the bill One on one chats with sluts
After all, my father was the provider in my family, and my mom didn't work.
To apply this line of thinking to my dating life, I had to overlook the fact that my mom and dad married when my mom was just 19 and my dad was 22; they had two kids within a space of a few years, and my mom raised us kids while my dad worked.
He might be doing it because it is what is expected of them.
Never questioning the "guy always pays" dynamic can open the door to a whole range of relationship problems, including frustration, or worse, resentment.
I used to be the kind of girl who always thought that guys should pay on dates.
When I was in my twenties, I’d commonly give my friends advice like, “If you have to pay on the first date, then forget him.
If a guy insists on paying the bill, it might not be because he just enjoys paying.But because I'd long equated how much a guy paid with how much he liked me, I allowed myself to be flattered by his offers to pay for me, instead of embarrassed with my acceptance of them. But day-to-day expenses add up, and if I compared my expenses with theirs, it's clear to see that I was a straight-up freeloader.Though I care deeply about the pay gap, will scoring a few free meals really fix anything in the long run?You can’t hold on to a few select traditions from an unjust bygone era without taking on all of the traditions.Just because we may not like spending our hard-earned dollars doesn’t mean it’s unnecessary.If they are still seen as "providers" with all these extra expenses, well, then, the pay gap makes sense. One of the big reasons that many women may feel OK with not paying on dates is that love interests are not seen as friends.Dating is often seen as something transactional, where money is used to convey someone's intentions and feelings of connection.It was helpful for me to consider the whole picture, and ask myself if I really wanted to emulate the past — or if I was on a different path. I had often told myself that since many of my boyfriends offered to pay every time, then they must actually like paying for me.They had made their choices — so why shouldn’t I reap the benefits?He’s not worth your time.” When a guy paid, it meant that he liked me, and how much he liked me was directly related to how much he paid. Now in my thirties and happily married, I find myself with very different views on money.I didn’t just hold this expectation for the first date, either; I expected the guys I dated — whether we were on our second date or in a full-blown relationship — to pay for everything, all the time. My husband and I each make our own money, and when it comes to shared bills, we each pay half.