Dating a man who has been in jail
Cavendish believes it to be a highly complex issue and agrees that major factors to consider are dependency and control; “Dependence works both ways - financial for many prisoners, particularly those who don't have family ties, as well as emotional.” With regards to the type of women who write to prisoners; “I'll be honest and say that a fair few of the female correspondents are lonely women who often have body-image concerns (many of those whose photos I've seen tend to be overweight.) They feel perhaps that a prisoner is likely to be less judgmental and more appreciative of any support - emotional and/or financial.” For these women, connecting with a man who is locked up for the majority of the day with little else to occupy his time, you’d be forgiven for assuming that the inmate has no choice but to remain faithful.
However as Cavendish observes, prisoners can benefit fiscally from these courtships; “I’ve known male inmates who have several pen pals, and they live a very comfortable life inside on the regular postal orders or cheques that get sent in.
Often referred to as the ‘Bonnie & Clyde Syndrome.’ In this instance the Passive Hybristophile will often contact someone in prison - someone that they only know by reputation in the media.
However, if the inmate has been convicted of domestic violence, a sexual offence or stalking/harassment, then all letters are supposed to be read.” a report released only this year on population in UK prison Most of us struggle to identify with the type of woman who would actively search for a partner in prison.However in recent years, the advent of websites such as Meeta Prisoner.com, Inmatesfor You.com, and even Gay have made it easier for people to connect with potential suitors on the inside.Whilst prevalent in the States, each facility differs as to what they allow or disallow, but the general rule is that anything being sent to or from an inmate goes through a screening process.I’ve met straight young prisoners who are keen to find male ‘sugar daddies’ willing to fund their tobacco or drug habits whilst inside.” Yet it would be wrong to claim that all inmates exploit the situation and all pen pals on the outside are lonely and looking for love.Many women (and men) choose to reach out simply to provide friendship and compassion to those behind bars.However there are others who are attracted to men who commit extreme acts of violence, such as rape or murder.Hybristophilia is described as a condition whereby women are sexually aroused by and responsive to the men who commit heinous crimes.Or manipulative sociopaths living vicariously through ‘celebrity’ prisoners?Fatema Saira Rehman, the woman who wrote to and later married notorious lifer Charles Bronson, once said of her correspondence; “I never expected anything.As observed by Clinical Psychologist Dr Stuart Fischoff; “The love object is almost irrelevant at this point.He's a dream lover, a phantom limb." However there are those who do succeed in establishing a ‘real life’ relationship with the stranger they’ve connected with.