Dating a giant

Whether you love or hate the beard, just know you'll get used to it at some point.

The beard crumb checks, the conversations with randoms, and the smell of beard oil just all become part of your daily life.

So one minute you're enjoying your martini, the next minute the bartender is leaping over the bar to grope your man's face.

You might get a free drink out of it, but mostly you'll just want, for one second, to talk about something other than facial hair.

Instead, they've become a totally trendy dude accessory.

And they're a unique accessory in that guys can't just go out and buy them. A dude has to spend months and months earning a beard, while his significant other watches as it takes over the his face and her life.

Basically, if you've ever had a complex about having a big head, just date a guy with a beard. If you think your makeup routine is lengthy, just wait until your dude grows a beard and gets really, really into all the man grooming products out there.

We called him up this week to reflect on his life and share stories from the making of the film. My sister works with a lady who was telling her about the movie and how they were stuck for a really tall guy.And, as it grows out, you'll feel more and more like you're sleeping next to some furry cartoon character. Cuddling is hard, kissing is hard, and, oh, eating is even a chore.Here's a small list of things that are incredibly hard for bearded men to eat (without needing a shower afterward): burritos, burgers, sandwiches, pizza, cupcakes, and don't even think for one second about him eating s'mores or cotton candy.But since we've been dating this long and are otherwise happy, it doesn't quite seem like the best method for removal.At least even thinking about putting Nair in his beard shampoo is therapeutic.This is what I've learned about dating a guy with a large amount of hair on his face: If your dude has a giant beard, be prepared to be stopped by every bartender, waiter, salesperson, and random beard lover on the street.The thing about beards is that people LOVE to talk about them and also touch them.All of this attention inevitably gives your bearded BF a gigantic ego boost, so even if you hate the facial hair (like I do) you'll quickly realize you don't have much support for beard bashing. Just try snuggling up to a guy with a monstrous beard.If you lay on his chest, hair goes in your eyes, tickles your nose, and, if you're not careful, you'll end up with a mouthful of hair. Being the little spoon is easier, but the beard will then tickle your neck in a way that's not actually sexy at all.It's also fun to show those pictures to people who comment on the beard.Most of the time they can't believe the dude in the picture is the same one standing in front of them. You have no idea how tempting it is to take scissors and a razor to his face while he snores.

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